Last night was an A1, tip-top, clubbing jam fair, followed by a sandwich of bacon.

I woke up at about 1:30pm. I got up, with great difficulty, got dressed and went into the kitchen to make me a bacon sammich. Two, actually. But on my way, I realized I was stumbling. As I looked around, I knew that my vision wasn't all there. I was still drunk. Not just tipsy. Pretty fucking drunk. So I made myself the bacon sandwiches, went back to my bed and fell asleep with the bacon sandwiches beside me. I awoke at nearly 5pm and ate the bacon sandwiches. Needless to say, they were cold.

And that's how I began 2009.

Actually, technically, I started 2009 being carried through my door by two of my good friends (according to my mother, there were three, but I really don't remember this), as I was barely able to do it myself.

But hey, maybe the rest of 2009 will be better, eh?


Is it a cat or a rabbit? No-one knows! Actually, I know. And the answer is a baffling one.

Hopefully, 2009 won't actually consist of a giant monster attacking the planet, as Cloverfield would suggest. Well, I don't think it actually tries to suggest that a giant monster will attack the planet in 2009, but still, it's a pretty scary thought that is very effectively put into our heads with the camerawork and surprisingly convincing CGI. That was a fucking good film, and it was actually quite scary. I just wish the hell I had gone to see it at the cinema, but hey, my 37-inch will do. Heh.

Poetry time? Ya plz!

2008 Sucked
2008 wasn't really that great.
It was a burning bun devoid of fun.
It will take many a beer to make up for this year.
And a fuck-load of of money to make it funny.
2008 made me quite irate.
The abundance of glitches made me want to shoot bitches.
This horrible dish has made me wish
For a better time in 2009.