Hey man, don't you touch my belt!

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.

Dingo.


What did you think upon reading the word 'dingo'? Apart from imagining it being said in an Australian accent. Yep, that's right, you thought about babies being eaten. Dingo ate ya baby? I think that's unfair, personally. Let's consider the feelings of the average dingo, forever stereotyped because one of their species got a little peckish, couldn't find a nearby KFC, and just happened upon a baby. I mean, fair enough, I wouldn't go to that extreme if I was hungry in a forest, but still. Really, it's the fault of the parents. They were camping. If they had made or bought some decent food, maybe their baby would still be alive. But no. The dingo could find nothing else to sustain itself, and had to resort to little Azaria. Well done.

What's the difference between attributing dingos with baby-eating and attributing blacks with stealing compulsively? Answer: none. And we ALL racially stereotype. You cannot deny this. Even J.J. Abrams (what, you think I didn't notice the ethnicity of all the looters in Cloverfield, Mr. Abrams? You are sadly mistaken). So, as long as anyone can attribute dingos with baby-eating with no worry of punishment, then, by rights, anyone should be able to express their racist views publicly, whether loudly in the streets or proudly on television or radio, without fear of punishment. Because they're quite obviously the same thing.

Now onto more more pressing matters. Yesterday, I found out all about Latarian Milton, the seven-year old who stole his grandmother's SUV and "took it on a high speed chase". Well, it would appear that no-one in America likes to be beaten. Yesterday, a six-year old from Virginia missed his school bus and decided to steal his mother's car keys and go in her 2005 Ford Taurus. He managed to get six miles away, three times more than Latarian Milton, and didn't crash into anyone, which is much less than Latarian Milton. Should we be concerned that cars are becoming too easy to drive? Should we be concerned that parents these days are becoming too relaxed? No, we should be doing what all the cool kids are doing: laughing at it. Because it's hilarious. Until someone dies, it's hilarious. Latarian Milton still wins because his story is so fucking funny.

Read the full story of this unique six-year old here. Go on, read it, before reading anywhere past this. Read it.

Did you read it? The six-year old claims he learned how to drive by playing Grand Theft Auto. And people said that game had negative effects on humanity!


P.S. I did not mean to contradict myself by arguing against the stereotype of African-Americans stealing and mentioning the seven-year old black kid who stole a car in the same blog post. Apologies.