I took it on a high speed chase!

You're making a cup of tea. Maybe for someone else, maybe for yourself. You boil the kettle, put the teabag in the mug, pour the boiled water in the mug and over the teabag, wait your optimum length of time that suits the strength of your tea, take out the teabag, give it a little squeeze, put it in that dish that you don't clean often enough, then make your way to the fridge to get the milk. You pour in the milk, stir, then put the milk away. You grab the mug and make your way to where you intend to drink the tea.

But wait.

With the light shift that comes from moving from the kitchen, you see that the tea is darker than you thought it was. You didn't put enough milk in.

So you have to go all the way back into the kitchen, open up that fridge again, get out the milk, pour in a little more, stir, put the milk back, then leave with the mug again.

But the same light shift reveals that you still haven't put in enough.

So you have to go all the fucking way back into the fucking kitchen, open up that fucking fridge again, get out the fucking milk, pour in a a lot fucking more, fucking stir, put the fucking milk back, then leave with the fucking mug again.

This light shift reveals that, in your frustration, you put in too much milk. You can add milk to your tea if there's not enough. But if you've put in too much, there's no going back.



Don't even try to pretend it's never happened to you.

Anyway, time to lighten the mood with some comedy. And not just any comedy, some fucking hilarious comedy. Admittedly, it's quite old, and I'm surprised I only found out about this yesterday, considering it's on Encyclopedia Dramatica, but I am so glad I have discovered this. And I'm sure you will love that I have brought this to your attention, and shower me with praise and money.

Readers of my blog, meet Latarian Milton.


He's seven years old. And he's a G. Seriously. He stole his grandmother's SUV back in May 2008, and went for a joyride with his fellow-seven-year-old friend, who "smokes with cigarettes". Seriously. Check out these videos.




And that's not all. Just two weeks later, when his grandmother refused to buy him some cheecken wangs, he threw a bit of a bitch fit.



Is Latarian Milton gonna have to choke a bitch?

For more details and updates on this unique child, here's a handy page.

So, I hope you enjoyed this blog and its many offerings. I shall head off now, and ponder on whether or not I actually enjoyed the ending of Vanilla Sky.