If I had lots of money, my crotch would be A-OK.

I just ate a bowl of Special K. And by 'a bowl of Special K', I mean the cereal. Not a bowl of horse tranquilizer. If I had just eaten a bowl of ketamine, I can assure you that this blog would be much more interesting. Or much more undecipherable. Or not even here, because I'd be outside watching myself chase the parked cars in McDonald's car park as opposed to writing a blog. Actually, come to think of it, I'd be dead. Thank God I didn't eat a bowl of ketamine.

Anyway, I was just thinking. What is the 'gayest' cereal out there? If you'll pardon the expression. I'm pretty sure there isn't a cereal marketed directly to members of the gay community. At least, in Britain, anyway. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if there was one in America.

This doesn't count, it looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

Would it be something colourful and fruity? And by 'fruity', I mean heavily fruit-flavoured. There's Fruit Loops? They sound pretty gay. But it's hard to say, so I decided to do some daring research. That's right, I will go to a gay forum, namely Gayspeak.com, and find a topic about breakfast cereals. Can't be that difficult...oh, found one. And the first post of this thread sounds so fucking stereotypical. I dare you to read this without getting that over-the-top-camp-lisp voice into your head.

Just wondering how many of you are absolutely addicted to breakfast cereals? And how many of you munch on toast or a bacon sarnie or something like that instead?

If you like cereals, what's your favourite??

My all time favourite is Raisin Splits but I'm currently addicted to Multigrain Rice Krispies mmmm!

Come on, surely he can't really be gay? Nobody who's actually gay speaks or writes that camp.

But wait! It continues!

Recently I've found that I eat a LOT of breakfast cereal in the evenings, sometimes foregoing tea in preference of a couplea bowls of the delectable Crunchy Nuts ... which isn't GREAT when you're trying to keep weight ON ... but they're so lush and I AM their bitch.


While I am absolutely Mr Sweet Tooth and I would normally love something in that department, I find that I enjoy something salty more at breakfast time. That and my cups of tea. But Marshlander, he seems to love that Jordan's Breakfast cereal with the dark chocolate chips (he says he can't get it in his area, so it's strange that we can find it so readily here). I've just got to steal one of the dark chocolate chips out of his bowl though.... Naughty moi!


Frosties, LOVE THEM. But my dad wont let me or mum get them cause he says I eat to much.

Seriously, I'm not going through the thread and picking the 'gayest' replies, I've just picked out the first three replies to the initial post. And I haven't even pasted the emoticons. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

If that one is too gay for you, then this link should be safer.

So either stereotypes are way more accurate than people give them credit for (and, let's be honest, they can hit the nail so hard on the head than the nail falls right out of the table and hits me in the balls), or this is a forum full of people pretending to be gay. Which gives me an idea. Shall I infiltrate this fortress? Shall I join this community, act like one of them, see how far I can play the stereotype before they snap and go "no way, José!"? Give your opinion on this endeavour.

Who here has jizzed in their pants?

PROTIP: Don't jizz in your pants.


By the way, I think the gayest cereal would have to be Special K. Hence why I panicked and wrote a blog about it.